So…

I was thinking about things to write, and I got some good ideas I can actually use. But then, I just never really start anything. There is a list on my journal, and not any of them got checked because I never put them into writing—all those ideas, never actually born to the world. Not really sure why, but everytime I started to write, I got stuck in the middle just not to finish it at all. It is not a good thing, of course. I try to find what my problem is, and after so long, I don’t really care about all those names they put to this whatever I am going through. I just need it to be over, so I can start writing again.

But they say, it’s all in your head. So when you put your head to something and actually want to go for it, you’ll go for it. This is for sure not my first attempt to get the hell out of this situation I am having, but if I finish this one, then you know I made it. Hopefully, if I made it with this one, it can actually triggers more writing. Hopefully.

Well, this writing has no purpose of anything but just something to find my place back on the track again. So thank you for reading this, for now you are back on the journey with me. I don’t know any way to know are you board again with me or not, but if you do, just know that I appreciate you more than I can possibly describe.

This is totally lame type of writing, there are things I need to avided when writing something, and most of them are actually here in this writing. I disappointed my writing class big time with this one. But hang on with me, will you?

Anyway, thank you again, and see you around.

Kerancuan

Jika hanya ada satu realitas, dan selebihnya hanyalah ilusi-ilusi, maka keputusan seseorang (dengan penjelasan yang cukup) juga adalah keputusan seseorang yang lainnya.

Jika hanya ada satu realitas, maka multi-semesta bisa menjadi sangat mungkin, dan segala bentuk kemungkinan yang dapat terjadi pada seseorang tidak terjadi di semesta yang berbeda. Ia berlangsung pada saat yang sama, di satu-satunya semesta dan realitas yang kita tahu. Dan waktu adalah pengacau konsep ini, karena sesungguhnya segalanya terjadi bersamaan, saling bertumpuk sembari berpikir bahwa yang terjadi adalah kenyataan milik masing-masing orang. Ketika sesungguhnya yang nyata hanya ada satu, dan segala-galanya adalah kemungkinan-kemungkinan yang dapat terjadi. Dan segala-galanya itu, menjalani dirinya sendiri, menemukan caranya menjadi, lalu berakhir pada banyak kemungkinan lain.

Begitu seterusnya.

*

Sudah pasti ada hubungannya antara jam tidur yang tidak teratur dengan otak yang berpikir terlalu rancu.

Tiny

When the lesson learned, you just can’t be the same person as you were.

You feel differently, see differently, think much differently, and in the end, it leads you to a whole new different reality. You disconnected to your past, because at some point it feels like somebody else’s life. Not really disconnected as if it never yours, more to you know, you no longer see the point why you should hold on to it.

Something changed you, celebrate that.

Security

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So, I was around when these security guys were trained. And at the end of the training, the coach said, “when you get home after this, stay there. Do not go anywhere. Stay and practice what we learned today”. Next, they were told about the importance of their job. How important it is for them to make it safe and comfortable to everyone when they went shopping with their family in malls.

It was beautiful speech, and I felt touched. And then out of the blue, I picture those security guys, all alone in low light rooms, on their night shift, sleepy, guarding mannequins and stuff, walking around out of boredom, maybe watching some things and wish for a better price so they can have them. That feels sad, I feel sad.

Wish they enjoy what the do.