Yes, this writing dedicated to those times, when you spend so many nights thinking about it―before you actually do it.
Long life, Overthinking!
Where Were You?
“The highest and most beautiful things in life are not to be heard about, nor read about, nor seen but, if one will, are to be lived.” ― Søren Kierkegaard
The first stage, when everything was like a whole new world for you. It’s you looking at the ceiling, remember those days when you think about this for the first time, and how it all makes sense. And you start to questioning why you stop thinking about it that time, and you thought you’re just being stupid for letting it go for no reason. You finally can see why lately everything feel somewhat dull: you don’t have much to want so badly like you want it now.
This is how you drag yourself to stuff that helps you find out ways to get it.
Of Course, I Can
“It is very important in life to know when your cue comes.” ― Søren Kierkegaard
So, you did that ‘research’ on how the world works to make it happen. This is where you can see how the idea of it forms itself to something you can actually ‘see’ in your mind. You calculated everything, and thinking that this would be very easy to do. You still have that optimist little bitch inside you. And you started to imagine things that you would like to do when you get there. You’re believe that this is the thing that you should do. And you connect everything in your life that make the desire grows stronger.
Oh, those fun things is a nice lullaby, actually.
Ouch, It’s a Bit… Complicated
“To venture causes anxiety, but not to venture is to lose one’s self…. And to venture in the highest is precisely to be conscious of one’s self.” ― Søren Kierkegaard
This is where you know exactly what to do, and you’re thinking how you gonna do it. What things you should prepared for it. You started to calculate the actions, and all the things you have to sacrifice for. That little bitch, the optimist voices still there. With that optimism you try to find an answer to every ‘hows’ you meet.
Hi there, 2 am!
I Don’t Know…
“I see it all perfectly; there are two possible situations — one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it — you will regret both.” ― Søren Kierkegaard
You actually know that you know how to get there. But, you found out about two or three things that make you say, “this won’t be easy” or how your mind creates this images of failure, and how it will break your heart. But, you know it’s stupid to think about failure when you haven’t even started yet. You make the second option, a plan B and said to yourself: “just in case it doesn’t work, I have something else to look forward to”. But then, thinking about the other plan, make you lose focus on your bigger plan. Because you see something else in that other plan―also, because this other plan is easier.
Maybe, just maybe, it’s wiser to just skip plan A and went straight to plan B. Maybe. But it sounds good somehow.
Nah, Not on This
“If anyone on the verge of action should judge himself according to the outcome, he would never begin.” ― Søren Kierkegaard
You know what they say, if you can’t stop thinking about it, it’ll worth the risk. All those scenarios, even the one you’re looking forward the most or the ugliest you can imagine, are things you play in your head. You’re not actually doing anything to make it happen. So, take back that journal, and write down your strategies. You know another thing they say: the first step to make it happen is write them down so you can see it.
Fuck, my pens run out of ink.