Remember, Always

Last Monday, two women came through the door, said that they are looking for their cat. My mother answered that she saw the cat was around a few days ago. They said their cat always comes to our place because he is in love with our cat, they even have a baby together. Only one kitten, which I find odd since I never see Mommy Cat with only one baby kittens. Well, that explains how demanding and spoiled that baby kitten is.

Anyway, after they went home, my mother told me about their sister. She is the prettiest of them, but something bad happened to her when she was younger. So they have to take care of their sister since the accident while worrying about the cat who likes to spend time in their neighbor’s house.

Their sister, the pretty one, was raped by nine men (her own damn friends) when she was younger, and she got sick for a few months after that. By the time she recovered, something changed. She started to act like a little girl, talk in a really childish way, and so cheerful it’s insane. But she hated man after that, like she is disgusted by them, but not in such an angry way. She became so childish and cute to be able to appear like she’s angry towards male human being.

She is fine now, though you probably would feel the same way as everyone else when you see her, a grown up woman in her 50 acts like she is 15, sad and feel sorry for her.

I can’t go on to the details of her story since it is something no one ever knows for sure. Even if I was so curious about it, I wouldn’t have the heart to ask her the details of the story, ever. That is also not the reason I am writing this, but for something, her parents did when it happened more than 30 years ago.

When her parents were famous, not really someone, but they are rich with a family business that everyone knows, at least in that town. Knowing that terrible thing happened to their daughter, they decided not to report the case to the police. They decided to bury the whole story and let it all go. People said because they are a respected family back in their days so they don’t want to do anything about it because it could affect the family business.

It sounds like it’s coming out from some kind of cheesy soap opera script, doesn’t it? These people, seriously!

Another reason would be this stupid culture thing here, that when you get raped, you should be ashamed because the sin is yours. So you shut up about it. People could get so extreme about such thing, they are not only blaming the victims but abject them too.

It is something that shouldn’t be preserved longer than it already has. It is irritating as much to think that rape victims need to be quiet about what happened to them just because when they speak up about it people would know that they are “damaged”. How can someone who gets something they never asked of have to take the blame for all the wrongs?

Though it sounds like a mistake, somehow if we think about how crazy it feels for her parents to imagine that their daughter would end up being miserable for the rest of her life—simply because people wouldn’t easily forget about what happened to her—shut up about it and hope people would forget somehow can be seen as a solution. Perhaps, as parents they thought shut up about it would protect their daughter from another terrible thing that she would get because of something she has to live with for the rest of her life.

How can you possibly relax when you know, someone you raised with love got her world messed up with morons so bad that she can’t find a way to catch up with herself to recover from that pain? How can you see her the same way again knowing that anything you do for her, will never make anyone take her as she is as you wish they should, as you do? How can you teach her to accept and deal with it when you know she already took a million step back to be able to understand?

How can you bear witnessing the way other people look at her, the sadness or disgust that they try to hide but you see it every time?

Her story is something, it saddens me to think about it. I am so sad and angry that I think I would probably collapse by such an intense emotion just by see her standing in front of me.

It makes you think how significant thing is, isn’t it? I mean, she didn’t know. Thirty years ago, she didn’t know. She didn’t know that some of her friends are just assholes waiting for a chance. She didn’t know that when she spent times with them, they stupid useless brain didn’t work correctly, and their ugly-shaped penis did the thinking for them. She didn’t know that the mood to get out of her house to hang out with friends, the things they talked about, all the little things she decided to do and went along with led her to that incident that day.

And that turned her to be someone else, can’t go back.

But what her parents did is something else. They did what they did to protect her, no matter how wrong it sounds, it was so important for them to make the incident buried deep, just perhaps people would forget about that. Which is not their fault that even when they tried hard to make people stop remember about what happened, her daughter already turned into someone who makes it hard for people to forget.

And it’s her parents’ decision that took me to this, the end of this writing. Parents’ love is just something you would never quite understand until you are parents yourself, it is true. They do much more than you can handle. They priority is something you don’t always realize, but it goes with you wherever. They might appear irrational at some point, but the constant urge to protect you and see you happy is their weakness in which gives them a strength that you take for granted, many times.

Her parents know that they wouldn’t be able to be there for here all the time because they have their own time in life, but they did what they thought was for the best.

This stupid thing in society that makes people see rape victims in such humiliating way needs to stop. We shouldn’t ever blame the victim, even more pointing how they dressed in daily or on they day it happened. If the rapist has a proper brain just like everyone else who wouldn’t do it for any reason (which actually there is zero reason to), it wouldn’t even ever happen. It is their fault, always had, always be. You can just living and think that is acceptable to do so. How come?

How could those rapist bastard see that it is a power to rape when it is actually a pathetic weakness? You can’t just take something from someone and thought you will get away with it and everyone else will go with it.

If we keep blaming the victim and keep making them feel it is their fault, keep point at them as if they are the source of this problem, we will always face a horrible reality, a world that always becomes such an unsafe home for them or anyone else with the same risk. Prison and law wouldn’t heal the pain for sure, but knowing that people who did bad thing to others will pay for what they did, somehow can become a lesson to more people that they need to think, smart for their genitals’ need. Not to rape is not a choice, it’s simply, purely a responsibility, an obligation, a huge duty.

Hurting one person would not only hurt them alone. People who connect with them, surrounded with them need to cope with the pain as well, not the same way, but it came from that, and coerce them to live with it which make nothing would ever be the same. Pain fades, but it will always a better option to live without it.

Always.

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